Thursday, October 16, 2014

Sorry if you feel neglected Baby Girl, but I promise we will love you

I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant. In about 8 weeks I'll most likely be delivering our baby girl via C-section.

And, we just bought our first baby items on Sunday. Two outfits. Receiving blankets. A soft toy and a rubber duck. (Kids begged to pick out something for baby.)

That's it. That's all we have purchased for our little girl.
No crib. No changing table. No diaper genie. No rocker. No adorable matching sheets and blankets and d├ęcor.

Our unborn baby has been a little bit neglected I guess.

Rewind 9 years and about 10 months when we found out we were pregnant with our firstborn Julie. We couldn't keep away from Babies R Us and Pottery Barn Kids. Crib was purchased 3 months into the pregnancy, and as soon as we found out "Girl!" we went all out. I couldn't pass Gymboree, Baby Gap or the baby girl section of Target without buying something. Scott painted her room bright green, and I spent months decorating her little "Under the Sea"-themed bedroom. I diligently wrote all my thoughts and milestones in a pregnancy and baby book, and pasted the little sonogram pictures on the pages. I read stories to my pregnant belly and Scott sang and talked to her at night.

The differences between a first and third pregnancy are astounding. Sometimes I forget I'm pregnant. Seriously. Despite my bulging belly, that is way bigger than my last two pregnancies, I kind of forget. During this entire pregnancy, I think I have taken one picture of me showing off my bump...or basketball to be more precise.

It's not that I'm apathetic about being pregnant. I actually love being pregnant. I love my big round belly and eating all the ice cream I can stomach. I love feeling our little baby move and squirm and dreaming about what she will look like and what kind of person she will grow up to be.

But, this time around I just haven't had time to cherish all those prego moments I love. With two kids, a packed schedule, freelancing deadlines and a move 800 miles away, this pregnancy has slipped away.

Thirty weeks have passed and I can't tell you when I first started to show or when I first felt the baby move. That's a little scary to me, considering I know how quickly time passes in mom time. I've been a mom for nine years now, and I can't explain how that happened. It really doesn't feel like that long ago that I was dressing up my first little baby girl in a pumpkin outfit and singing her endless songs I made up just for her. I remember calling her "Little You" because that's just what she was--a littler version of herself and how true that has proven to be. And, I clearly remember rocking my second little baby--the one I thought would be my last. I rocked him and held him like I never wanted to let him go. He's still my snuggly little guy who loves his mommy.

Here I am waiting for my third to come along and I don't want to rush this. So, I'm going to take it a little slower. I'll wait for her little movements and talk and sing to her...just like I did when the other two were in my belly. She may be the last little one to arrive, but she's going to be so special to us too.

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