Sunday, April 19, 2015

Happy 6 to my buddy


Dear Johnny,

Today you are 6.
Five was a rough year wasn’t it bud?
It started off pretty awesome. You had plenty of friends and you were excited to start kindergarten. You made it halfway across the monkey bars and  you swam by yourself in the deep end. You even started to ride a two wheeler.

Then your whole world changed.

We moved again. This time was even harder because we loved our neighborhood and our friends and our cozy little town on the lake. You were just old enough to have best buddies and a “real” girlfriend who just so happened to live  next door.

And as if you didn’t have enough turmoil in your life we had a new baby. You were so sweet and excited---kissing my belly and writing letters to your new baby sister. But you’d never been a big brother before so you didn’t quite understand how much things would change.
You didn’t know that you couldn’t always sneak in bed next to me in the early morning or that Daddy and I wouldn’t be quite as amused by your loud silly songs when baby Josie was sleeping. Or that carrying you upstairs to bed at night wouldn’t happen quite as often.

All of the sudden you were big. And while that can be wonderful, I do know that it just might have broken your little heart. I’m so sorry for that.

Even though I suspect you might be hurting inside you are still full of so much love. There are stacks of love notes to me from you sitting on the kitchen table. I can’t bear to just throw them all away. And the bracelets and necklaces you make me daily are tucked safely in my dresser drawer.

Because, life might be different now, but you’ll always be my only little boy and my special buddy. Six will be better. I promise.