Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Happy 7 Johnny

Dear Johnny,

Today you are 7.

You held my hand on the way to the bus stop today. Do you know how much that made my day?

There used to be a time when you’d hold my hand everywhere. You were never one of those toddlers who’d try to wriggle away from me or shake off a hug. You were my lovebug—always in the mood for a snuggle. Every morning you’d crawl into bed and sneak under the covers, and sometimes you’d whisper “You’re so pretty” or “I love you Mommy.” For forever you were my best buddy—writing me love notes and making me jewelry and crafts. I still have that big heart note posted on my wall you made last year: “I love you. Take this wherever you go.” I like to look at it every morning.

Especially since I missed my sweet little boy, who hasn’t wanted to snuggle as much this year. I think 6 might have been the year you tried to figure it all out. Maybe you didn’t quite feel like my little buddy anymore. Maybe you felt a little stuck.

My sweet little middle boy.

So many changes I think had you feeling disappointed? Confused? Angry? And probably just sad.  I know it’s all a part of getting older and finding your place in the family. You went from being my baby to being my middle. Of course I love you just as much, but, I’m heartbroken to admit, that you might not have fully felt that.

When you grabbed my hand this morning I didn’t want to let go. I wanted to hold on, and let you know that you’re loved beyond belief. You—and your adorable missing front teeth. You, my friend, are unlike anyone in the world and you have to know that’s so good. You’re my creative inventor, whose mind is always churning. You meticulously build forts for bugs and transform toilet paper rolls into rattles for your baby sister, or bottle caps and wire into bracelets for me. You’re my early riser who makes smoothies topped with dollops of whipped cream for everyone. You play endlessly in your imaginary world where Barbies and Darth Vader are equally entertaining. You’re my explorer who loves little critters and you’re happier caked in mud.

While 6 might not have been your favorite year, you just have to know that you’re so special and you are needed and wanted more than you can imagine. Our family just wouldn’t be a family without our energetic, loving, quirky little middle boy. 

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