Less than three weeks and our baby girl arrives. Most pregnant women nest at this phase. I stress. Sure. I'm cleaning and prettying the nursery and buying cute little baby things on Etsy. But, mostly I'm worrying and freaking out.
With all three of my pregnancies, I have completely worried about everything little thing that could possibly go wrong. With Julie I was convinced she was a "mermaid". Every time we had a sonogram, her legs were crossed, so I was certain she would come out with conjoined legs. I'm not sure what I stressed about with Johnny, but I'm sure there was something.
Even though I have delivered two healthy and beautiful babies, I am most worried about this baby girl. Here's why. I'm 36. In other words I'm over 35---that magic number when birth defects and other issues increase. (I'm hoping maybe the odds are in my favor since technically I was 35 when I got pregnant.) I already have an unexpected issue: placenta previa. Because of this I have to deliver the baby 3 weeks early. This means the baby is at greater risk of problems---like difficulty breathing or other immature bodily functions.
I know it's important to remain positive, but it's hard. I feel like I'm inundated with stories of babies born with problems or lasting challenges. Just last week, our former pastor in Chicago welcomed a beautiful 9-pound baby girl into the world--3 weeks early. She's still in the NICU because of breathing issues. Then, there are the stories of the babies who don't make it, or the moms who die at childbirth, or the babies who showed no signs of complications en utero but are born with lifelong health defects.
Obviously we will love our baby girl no matter what, but I just can't help but worry. Here are my goals for these next 2 1/2 weeks:
1. Pray for the best.
2. Think positively.
3. Focus on the beautiful family we have.
4. Dream about our new baby girl.
5. Enjoy these last couple weeks! (Christmas shopping, pedicures and de-caff pumpkin spice lattes.)